The Italian BMT

One of the worst things about working where I do is that there are very few affordable lunch options. The U street area is famous for Ben's Chili Bowl, which is great, but if I want to maintain my girlish figure, I can't eat there more than once a month. There are also a bunch of semi-nice places that I can't really go to because they are semi-expensive and will take a long time to serve me. Ah, the joys of being an hourly "employee." So that limits my options to McDonald's, Quizno's, and Subway.

McDonald's is rarely an option because 1) it could be the dirtiest McDonald's in America, 2) I don't really want to eat that crap more than I have to (Monopoly time), and 3) my idea of ambiance doesn't include a homeless person sitting next to me. Quizno's is ok, but its kind of expensive for what you get, although I do enjoy the pepper bar and horseradish sauce. This limits my choice to Subway.

Now, I don't really like Subway. Everything went downhill ever since they stopped the "U" style cutting of their bread and went to the straight across method. The only things I actually enjoy are the free refills and the fresh baked cookies. Since Subway is really the only option, I have to make the best of it.

The least offensive sandwich to me is the Italian BMT. This includes pepperoni, salami, and ham. Once I add cheese, it passes my test of being the most unkosher meal I can order. But I always had one question about the BMT. What the fuck does BMT stand for? Due to the fact that 99% of the people working for Subway are foreign, I could never ask. But today that all changed.

I ordered my usual 6 inch Italian BMT combo with chocolate chip cookies in lieu of chips and I was stunned to see a white face looking back at me from behind the counter. I took this opportunity to ask the only sandwich artist who could speak fluent English my question for the ages. What does BMT stand for? The guy, who must have just returned from management training answered me immediately: "Brooklyn Manhattan Transfer." What this has to do with a pork sandwich, I'll never know, but one of life's mysteries is hereby solved.