Mr. Peebles was a middle aged black guy who weighed somewhere in the 250-300 pound range. He wore thick army-issue glasses and sort of mumbled to himself all the time. Since we were all pretty young, the main tool we used in class was the coping saw. Mr. Peebles' favorite phrase was undoubtedly: "Ya gotta have da copin' saw." Followed by, "Dees kids [unintelligible] playin' wit da hand tools."
Mr. Peebles was always sort of a mystery to us. There was a rumor swirling around that he had once played professional football for the Cleveland Browns. Massive head trauma would be one explanation for his unique speaking style. One of my friends supposedly asked him about it and he reportedly got really angry and slammed his fists into a locker.
However, the best Mr. Peebles story is this: one day he was not in class. The story we got was that he was working after school the previous day and had sawed his thumb off using the band saw. He would not be returning for the rest of the semester. Due to this fact (and that the school apparently could not find anyone as competent as Mr. Peebles to supervise us and our coping saws), we had a parade of substitute teachers who would show us movies every day during class. It was during this time that I developed my true love for the movie: Airplane! I am actually kind of shocked that we got away with watching this (because of the brief nudity) because just a year or two earlier, the housewife mafia nixed a showing of Ernest Goes to Camp in my elementary school because it was PG and not G rated. I had to suffer through The Apple Blossom Gang instead (look it up, its horrible).
I don't think I ever saw Mr. Peebles again. I had a different shop teacher the next year and then I was off to high school. But this Bud's for you Mr. Peebles, A real man of genius. Not in those words salutes you, Mr. Middle School Wood Shop teacher. You teach kids with no mechanical ability to make the finest in keychains and cutting boards. You gotta have the copin' saw now! We don't know what you used to do, but we won't ask because you might get angry. Don't ask about the Browns! You might preach about safety, but you sawed off your thumb and didn't come back for the rest of the semester. Someone call an ambulance! So for being the perfect embodiment of "Do as I say, not as I do," here's to you Mr. Middle School Wood Shop Teacher. Mr. Middle School Wood Shop Teacher.
