The 15 Commandments

I have been participating in fantasy football since high school and since I have never actually won a fantasy football league, this has made me kind of an expert on what not to do during the draft. Of course, usually the knowledge I gain during the course of the season is promptly forgotten about a nanosecond after the Superbowl. So this year, in an attempt to remember some of these pieces of information (and give all of my opponents a look into my drafting strategy), I am writing it down. Hopefully, everyone I play against will forget about this post come August. And now, onto Catheter Man's Rules for Drafting a Fantasy Football Team*.

*Rules only apply to non-keeper leagues. Void where prohibited.


1) Know the scoring rules of your league. It sounds simple, but there are often quirks that make certain positions more (or less) valuable than you might think.

1a) You need at least 2 can't miss running backs. If this means drafting both in the first two rounds, so be it.

2) Take proven veteran wide receivers on stable teams with veteran quarterbacks and good offensive lines.

3) Take a quarterback who has been in the same offense for at least 2 years, with good people around him. Especially offensive line.

4) Don't take any players on a team with a terrible offensive line.

5) Wait on a tight end. They are too unpredictable.

6) Wait on a defense. They are the hardest to predict and don't really vary that much from each other.

7) Wait on a kicker. Same thing applies as above.

8) When in doubt, take the player who has proven he can score in the NFL.

9) Know your coaches (i.e. stay away from Mike Tice's or Mike Shanahan's running backs unless you have no choice).

10) Rookie running backs are risky. Typically only one has a good year.

11) Know who your opponents have picked, especially in the first two rounds.

12) Know your bye week issues and plan for them.

14) When it comes to running backs, back up, back up, back up. You will have injuries.

15) When naming your team it is of the utmost importance (and I can't stress this enough) that you choose either a slang term for some deviant sexual act or a reference to a Will Ferrell movie, character, or skit. This is not negotiable.