Congratulations, here's your shit sandwich

Congratulations to the Washington Wizards, who won their first playoff series since 1982. That's right, 1982. I was 5 freaking years old. So this is really the first time that I remember a playoff series win. And they did it by beating the worst team to ever have home court advantage in the playoffs.

The Bulls team that they fielded was pretty awful in the pantheon of NBA playoff teams. If they put that team on the floor every night and didn't start Chandler and Gordon all year, they probably would be in the lottery right now. And the Wiz barely beat them each night. Why? They probably played defense for about 15 minutes of the whole series. Thats 15 minutes of real time, not game time. The Wizards are definitely the worst defensive team to ever win a playoff series. But I'm happy for them anyway. Apparently, Gheorghe Muresan was happy too. I think I saw him in the tunnel at the end of last night's game. I mean, what other team can boast as having a 7 and a half foot movie star at their games?

So what do the Wiz kids get as their reward for winning? A trip to Miami to get swept by the Heat. As if we weren't going to have enough problems with big men, we get to not have Kwame Brown's 6 fouls against Shaq. I hope we activate Ramos, if only for his fouls. Oh, and did I mention that we are going to have a pissed off Shaq playing against us?

Yes, the MVP went to Steve Nash. Shaq could have gotten it and he's got to be pissed that he lost out to a Canadian white boy on a much more talented team. Remember when Olajuwon lost the MVP to Robinson and proceeded to absolutely destroy him in the playoffs. Imagine Shaq having that same attitude of showing the voters they made a mistake, only instead of playing against a top 50 guy in his prime, he gets Brendan Haywood, Etan Thomas, and Michael Ruffin to push around. Shaq might score 50 points a night against this team that can't play defense anyway. As Bubba Sparxx once said, Its going to get ugly.

I also just found out that the announcement that Nash won MVP will come at halftime of the Wiz/Heat game on sunday in Miami. Are you kidding me? The Wiz get one day between games, in which they have to fly to Miami for an afternoon game, then Shaq gets extra motivation at halftime. I can almost hear David Stern calling Dick Bavetta to ref right now. This game is going to be a blow out. Now I'm intrigued. I'm obviously not a betting man because I have no idea how to check the odds on tomorrow's game. I wish I could bet $1000 on the Heat.

Well, I can't be too mad because I have never seen my team make it this far and maybe they will steal game 3. But if I were a betting man, I'd put the mortgage on Shaq to have the best series of his life. Even Mourning will probably destroy everyone (and they all have functioning kidneys!) Great job, Wiz. You did what you were supposed to do. Now next year, you need to play some defense and maybe we'll go somewhere.