I'm a horrible person and deserve to be poor and die alone

Question: What do you do when your chosen field is about as accepting as an infant turtle anus and nobody in said field will hire you despite your (over)qualifications? Seriously, I'm not really qualified to do much in the business world and what I am qualified for is about as easy to get as a Senate seat. This application process is worse than the time I tried to apply for Skull and Bones.

Me: I want to be a Bonesman.

Old Man: What?

Me: I want to join Skull and Bones.

Old Man: I don't know what you are talking about.

Me: You know, the secret society for Yale seniors.

Old Man: But this resume said you went to Michigan and that you graduated five years ago. Why are you getting naked?

Me: I'm going to get into this coffin and tell you my sexual history.

Old Man: Sir, if you don't leave I'm going to have to call the police.

Confused guy in line: This is the last time I go to Popeye's.


Yeah, I'm not really sure if that worked, but I tried to copy the J man, who was trying to copy Family Guy. Either way, I am 128 applications into my job hunting process and I think I am ready to give up. Its getting to be absurd. I feel like I might as well be applying to be President of Nicaragua.

I have to start playing the lottery.