Man in the Mirror

First off, a hearty and well-deserved congratulations to Michael Jackson for evading the haters one more time. I know you are crazy, but I don't think you are any more crazy than say, Tom Cruise. I don't think Michael molested little boys. Thats for the Catholic church to do.

Which brings me to my next point: what the fuck do all these religious wackos think they are accomplishing when they stand outside the courthouses (or anywhere for that matter) with their big Jesus signs? For one thing, Michael Jackson is bigger than Jesus (and quite a bit more talented, too). Secondly, nobody watching the trial is going to see your sign and all of the sudden join your cult.

At the risk of offending just about everyone in the country, I'd like to make tee shirts that say "Jesus is Gay." Why? 1) Its Nene Hilario. 2) It will offend all the dumbass rednecks and bible thumpers that want to lynch you if you refute anything in the bible. 3) From the little I know about Jesus (I have seen about 30 hours of Easter programming), I think he would have championed gay rights. He was all about including all the people who were unfairly excluded. 4) Zell Miller might explode.

If you think that is a terrible idea, you should have heard my first idea: "Jesus has AIDS"