Say hello to Takoma.
Don't look now, but Catheter Man is getting a dog. Sure, I don't have a job yet, but that's all the more reason to stay at home and make sure the dog doesn't freak out and eat the stereo or something. Also, I can train it to do my bidding. I know that some of you may be thinking: "How is it possible for an unemployed (almost) 28 year old with absolutely no job skills, slight psychopathy, a history of drunkenness, and a heart murmur to be entrusted with the life of another living thing?" The answer is quite simple. We are getting her from the humane society. She would probably eventually get put to sleep there, so the requirements for getting a dog aren't that strict.
We're probably going to pick up Takoma from the shelter tomorrow. Takoma is the name they gave her because she was a stray. We think they must have found her in Takoma Park. I'll have to ask her if she knows Steve Francis. We tried to think of other names, but I think Takoma is pretty cool. She's about 25 lbs and will hopefully stay that small. She's part Beagle and part unknown (I would guess Bloodhound from her color and tail).
I have lived with a dog before. Some of you may remember my old roommate, Zimmy, in NY. (Yes, I lived with Don Zimmer and he charged at me at least 5 times a day.) Well, he had a Dalmatian with a skin condition that had absolutely no self control when drinking (sounds like me!), so we could not leave her very much water during the day or she would drink it all and then pee all over the floor.
The only problem we had with Pebbles was when we set up an experiment to see how she reacted to different kinds of music. We set up the video camera to first see what the hell she did all day when we were gone. That was pretty boring, so the next time we put 5 different cds in my changer and set it to random to see which music she liked and which music she hated. I think the cds included Enya, nine inch nails, and Tom Jones. The great experiment didn't work very well because Pebbles didn't really do anything different based on what song was playing. The second problem was that she must have been pissed at us for subjecting her to the music (it really wasn't loud at all, so don't feel like we were torturing her) so she chewed through the wires to the tv, vcr, and stereo to get back at us. If you're scoring at home, thats dog:1, humans:0.
I think the best part about getting a dog is that now I can fart and take dumps on the carpet and blame it on the dog. Sure, I'll probably have to eventually clean it up myself, but the bathroom is like 20 feet from here and I ain't moving during my stories!
