Peanut Butter

What the fuck is wrong with all of these parents that they are giving kids deathly allergies to peanut butter? Back in the day, all I used to eat was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and now some asshole is going to not let me eat the kind of sandwich I like because they might die from it?

The answer isn't banning peanut butter from school lunch rooms. THe answer is banning these stupid fucks whose parents made them allegeric to peanut butter in the first place. Back in my day, if you had some sort of crazy allergy, that was a rarity. Now, like with mental problems and fat kids, its the norm. Everyone has an excuse these days. I heard that the reason why all these kids have peanut allergies is because their dumbass lazy parents gave them formula or soy milk or something too early in their childhoods. I'm supposed to suffer because your parents are assholes? I think not. Fuck you. Go eat your gay lunch in a different room, lest I spit goober and grape in your eye.

Which brings me to another point: no more peanuts on airplanes. This blows big fat donkey dick. Because of these same fucknuts who won't let my kids eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in school (by the time I have kids, I'm sure that will be outlawed), now I can't enjoy my little package of happiness on a plane anymore. Now those dickwad airlines give out pretzels instead. PRETZELS SUCK! Unless you are talking about soft pretzels, in which case they rule. But we're not, so those crappy pretzels can bite me. I think I'm just going to bring a cannister of peanuts on my next flight and sit there and eat them with a shit eating grin on my face while all the lower life forms who can't handle my god given right to enjoy legumes can choke on their own vomit and die for all I care.

God, peanuts rule!!!