Ramblings

Here are some things I've been thinking about lately:

--Don't you hate people who preface every statement with: "I was just going to say..." and then continue with their thought? Were you just going to say it or are you saying it right now? Just skip the preface and give us whatever nonsense it is you were thinking. You are just talking to get class participation points anyway. Douchebag.

--Whats up with all these spam e-mails I get with titles like "Christian Debt Relief" and "Christian Singles in your area"? First of all, I'm not Christian. Second, even if I was, I'd be kind of offended that these morons are trying to use religion to be successful spammers.

--Rolly bags are the devil's spawn. For those of you who aren't in law school, rolly (rhymes with holy) bags are just like those suitcases with wheels and a handle, only slightly (and I stress slightly) smaller. These can be seen trailing 3 feet behind fat girls, clogging up elevators, and hitting people in the legs. Hey lazy, maybe you could use the extra exercise of carrying your books. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a fat girl try to carry a rolly bag up a flight of stairs.

--Rev. Jerry Falwell is supposedly in critical condition right now. I think this is an appropriate time to remember the man for his greatest accomplishment: losing his virginity to his mother in an outhouse. [A spoof ad claiming just that was the subject of his lawsuit against Larry Flynt, which Falwell deservedly lost].

--As long as we're making fun of the infirm, we might as well go ahead and take shots at the deceased. Johnnie Cochran just died. They are saying he had some brain disorder (like one that would make him believe OJ was innocent?). I think he was killed by some random person and the brain disorder was set up via a huge conspiracy in the racist LA police department.

--I think the best part about cable shows about food are their willingness to employ hosts from cheesy early 90's game shows. With Marc Summers from Double Dare and Mark DeCarlo from Studs already in the stable, it can't be too long before Nitro from American Gladiators gets his own show to talk about the wonders of pork or something.

--Whoever decided that work/school should start at 9 am is an asshole. Whoever decided that Americans can't have a Siesta in the middle of the day is a bigger asshole. Whoever decided that graduation from law school requires an "upper level writing requirement" is the biggest asshole.

--I don't think I have taken a dump in at least 5 days, even with a few bacon, egg, and cheeses, Julia's Empanadas, and Chipotle thrown in the mix. I think something is seriously wrong with my digestive system.

--Bubba Ho Tep is the strangest big studio movie I have ever seen. It took me about 40 minutes to figure out what the hell was going on.

--What's up with these people who call things "double-edge swords"? Aren't all swords double-edged? Isn't a single-edged sword called a knife or a sickle or something?

--I think Netflix should not only rent porn, but also video games. They are missing out on a ton of money.

--American Idol just did their 90's theme show. I'm pretty sure I was in my music heyday in the 90's, yet I only recognized about 4 of the 10 songs the contestants picked. What up wit dat?

--I'm thinking Friday is a good date to officially "drop" the blog. Why the short notice? Because I don't want the internet downloaders to get hold of it and screw up the opening weekend numbers.