An Eventful Wednesday Morning

This morning, I finally had a plumber come in to look at my kitchen sink and toilet. The sink has been dripping continuously for about 2 months, and the toilet has been running for longer than that, so I figured it was time. Well, it turns out that the Brita thing that attaches to the faucet causes pressure to build up and it fucks up sinks, so word to the wise -- just get the Brita pitcher instead.

The best part was that this guy was probably in his early to mid 50's and he started talking to me about my Play Station 2. I figured he was just trying to make small talk, but then he began saying that he has a Game Cube and whatever the new portable Nintendo handheld system is (and how its more advantageous to him than the PSP because he had the Game Boy advance and he can use all of those games on his new system). This gives me great hope that I will still be the video game-playing scumbag at 50 years old that I am today.

After he was finished, I walked to the Metro to go to school. Normally this is pretty uneventful, but today two strange things happened on the way there. First, I saw the Secret Service pull some lady in a Jetta over on the corner of my street. Now, I'm no expert on clandestine ops, but I'm pretty sure that it kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a secret service if they drive around in a police car marked: "Secret Service."

Second, there was a homeless guy sitting outside of CVS. This is usually no big deal because there are always homeless people hanging out around there. But this guy was not only lounging in a beach chair, enjoying the sunny day, but also wearing a Superman t-shirt and reading a Russian-English dictionary. Pretty strange if you ask me.

So I get to the bus stop to go to school and I decide that I need a haircut. Some of you know about my various trials and tribulations (thats a word you don't hear too much) with hair cuts and I had one last summer that deserves its own post (think Slingblade mixed with Forrest Gump), but I have been going to the place up on main campus for a little while and have found it to be adequate.

When I get to the place where the hair salon (for lack of a better word) used to be, it is closed, only to be replaced by a hair salon, nail, and tanning place. Ok. Breathe. This is going to be fine. I've already committed to going all the way there, I might as well get my hair cut. So I go inside and sit down in the chair. First of all, I'm not sure if this happens everywhere but do all of these hair places have a direct hookup to the sound system in a Cancun club? The weirdo techno music already has me out of my element when a Vietnamese man (I know he was Vietnamese. I did 3 tours in DaNang) with enough turquoise jewelry to be in a Gaystrogen commercial saunters up to ask me how I'd like my hair cut. I tell him and we're on our way.

First, he gives me the shampoo treatment. This is always great because I don't usually get it and I didn't shower this morning (waiting for the plumber), so it works out for both of us. I have always wondered why they don't save the shampoo for after the haircut, when you're covered in irritating hairs and spend the rest of the day finding them all over yourself and your clothes. Anyway, he cuts my hair and does not even ask 1) how I want the back done and 2) how I usually style it. These are the marks of a true professional. My answer to the back question (square or round? (I think)) is always: "whatever looks better." Honestly, I could care less what the back of my hair looks like, just make it normal. Then, at the end, I thought I was going to have to tell him that I put gel in my hair and sort of spike it up (I was wearing a hat when I came in, so there's no way he could have known). But lo and behold, this guy takes out the gel and does it without me saying a word. Quality.

So I get out of there and I want a drink (since its been at least an hour since my last Diet Coke). I go into the little campus convenience store and they actually had 1 liters of Diet Coke. Luckily for me, I have been on a winning streak (the year of the catheter) and I had 2 free 1 liter caps in my pocket. Now for the moment of truth.

Me: "I have one of these caps."

Checkout Lady: "Ok."

Me: (walking out without paying, amazed, speechless)

Oh my god! It worked. It felt like I was robbing the place. Now I just have to go up there every time I win one of these free Cokes.

That was my eventful morning. Now I just have 3 hours until my next class and 8 1/2 hours until I go home.

Seacrest OUT!