Mmmm. Hot dogs.
I am nearly 28 years old. Last night, I went to the first "home" baseball game in my life. Yes, the Washington Nationals are here (and currently in 1st place!). For a city whose only sports success over the past decade has been in Major League Soccer (DCU, BABY!), a new team is a welcome respite from the futility of the Wizards and the drama-fest of the Redksins. Luckily, after Bud Selig and the owners jerked DC around for the last 10 years and then traded all their best players (except Wilky), the Expos (deez nuts!) have found a new home at RFK Stadium.
Last night, the game was supposed to begin at around 7. I figured it would be tough to get there and then get into the stadium, so I caught the Ghettro and got there around 6. Since "president" Bush was throwing out the first pitch, there was crazy security to get in. It was worse than getting into an airport. Imagine lines about 100 deep all the way around the stadium. We finally get past the security at around 6:40 (I think) and we have to wait for my friend to get through the line. They finally get in around 7. Then its off to will call, where our tickets are supposed to be.
I'm not sure if any of you have ever been to RFK, but there is a reason why the Redskins moved out of there (and its not that its located in the middle of the hood). At will call, there were 6 people working and one computer. One computer. I'll say it again: one computer. What the fuck? Even DC public schools have more than one computer and they were protesting outside the stadium for more funding all night. Well, it took us until about the 3rd inning to actually make it past the model of efficiency that is will call.
Once we got inside, that is where the real fun began. We got to our seats, which were pretty damn good and I could have sworn the guys behind us were talking about Bill Brasky all night. Not really, but thats what they sounded like. Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? Anyways, we go off lookin' for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, Brasky takes me into a vacant lot and says, "Here we are!" Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us! Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it and then burnt the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, "Always leave things the way you found them!"
In about the 5th inning, we figured the lines for beer and foor should have died down by now, so we went looking. If you have seen RFK, in the outfield there are no seats in the bottom section. There used to be seats there for the Redskins, so there are still concession stands behind them. This being the first game, most people did not know that, so there are no lines at all back there. We go the the beer stand and get some beers. My girlfriend gets peatnuts for $3.50 and pays with a $20. I swear that the woman behind the counter had no clue how to give change and had to ask someone what the change would be for that complex math equation.
Then we go over the the hot dog place. The first one said we would have to wait 5 minutes for them to be done. I wasn't too keen on allowing the RFK concessions people to let me know when they thought the dogs were done (yes I know hot dogs are already cooked, but it still seems gross), so we just went to another place. This stand had cooked dogs, but for some reason, they were all spilling out the back of the 7-11 style warmer, as you can see in the picture above. Aside from this being absolutely hilarious, the cashier got all pissed off at the hot dog grilling guy, which was pretty funny too (you had to be there). Once we finally got the hot dogs, we went back to the seats.
Did I ever tell you about the time I had breakfast with Brasky? Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for eight months straight. When he woke up, he rubbed his eyes and said, "All in all, I prefer gin!"
The Nats won the game (with Hernandez taking a 1-hitter into the 9th and Castilla needing only a single for the cycle getting plunked in his last at bat). A good time was had by all. So, what did we learn about RFK and the Nats?
1) If at all possible, don't go to will call
2) Have as close to exact change for your beer as you can
3) Behind the outfield, there are no lines at the concession stands
4) The stands along the third base side still bounce (with help from bobbing fans)
5) When leaving the stadium, use the old DC General metro entrance
6) Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch!
