Intros/Year of the Catheter Continues/Big Boy's Revenge

I forgot about this the first time I posted this morning, but this is an update for those who either haven't seen today's post or just check again for some reason. Last night in my Sports Law class, the professor wanted to make sure he knew what everyone's name for class participation points purposes. Since he wasn't sure about some people, he decided the best way to do this was to have everyone say their name (so he could associate a name with a face).

Immediately, I thought of the Monday Night Football intros, where players say their name, position, and school. Since the professor is an NFL agent, I thought it would be pretty funny to do that. I figured I would say something like "Catheter Man (except use my real name), Defensive End, University of Michigan." But then I thought, this guy knows my name and always rips on my about going to Michigan, so I did what anyone in my position would do.

The two people ahead of me said their names and all was going according to plan. Then it got to me and I say in true Charles Woodson style, "You know the name, you know the school." It only got a decent pop from the crowd, which was pretty disappointing because in a sports law class, I thought more people would find that pretty funny. Oh well. Maybe I should have said, "My name is Stuart and I buy my clothes at Sears." That one always brings the house down.

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The Year of the Catheter Continues! I just won my Yahoo public head to head fantasy basketball league. It was tough, but Napolean in Rags (the name of my team) pulled through in the end. I'm just proud of my guys. I can't believe I won with the late season injuries to Tim Duncan, Antawn Jamison, and Primoz Brezec. Here's my final roster:

Stephon "Coney Island's Finest" Marbury
Reggie "R-E-G, G-I-E" Miller
Jason "I beat my wife" Kidd
Mike "Steve-O" Miller
Damon "I have no nickname" Jones
Eddie "Old balls" Jones
Gilbert "Revenge of the Nerds" Arenas
Tony "Frog" Parker
Antawn "Antoine, Antwan, Antowain, Anduane" Jamison
Primoz "If you like Georgio, you'll love Primo" Brezec
Joel "I can't believe there is a guy in the NBA named Joel" Pryzbilla
Tim "The Big Boring" Duncan

and finally, the finals MVP goes to none other than

Robert "Tractor" Traylor, who had the best game of his life a couple of days ago and helped me win the championship. Way to go.

Funny story about Traylor. I went to college with him and he was in the same major as me (yes, we are both idiots). One of my friends found a report of his in the library and it was awful. It was an oral report on Michael Jordan that was obviously copied directly out of the encyclopedia. The best part was that this was actually written on the paper for him to say, "So, likes I sayed..." I don't remember how that sentence ended, but you get the point. The guy's no brain surgeon. But then again, he's probably making a million bucks a year, so he's got that going for him (which is nice).

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I can't believe I wrote 2 long ass posts about camp and forgot one of the best parts.

There were usually a lot of people from the DC area who went to my camp so the camp arranged for busses to pick everyone up at the parking lot of the Giant on Rockville Pike. For some reason, it was always a tradition that I would go to Bob's Big Boy before I got on the bus to partake in the breakfast buffet. Now, I love all buffets, but breakfast buffets are the gold standard. I would usually eat about 10 pounds of bacon, sausage, hash browns, pancakes, french toast, and whatever else they might have there. Seeing as I have the world's slowest digestive system, I was not too worried about having to drop a deuce on the bus.

Once we got to camp, we'd unpack, meet our counselors, bunkmates, and do some activites. I think we had dinner there that night also. Then we'd go to sleep eventually. Every year without fail, when I was awoken by that first bell in the morning, my insides felt like a science experiment gone horribly wrong. I usually had to sprint to the bathroom and release my unholy luggage from its overhead bin. There really was nothing quite as satisfying as baptizing the camp shitter with an ass explosion the first full day of camp.